Salvation is only the beginning…

For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as the division of the soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart. – Hebrews 4:12 AMP

During the time, I was a foster parent (with my husband) to 2 preteen kids (sister and brother), God did some breaking as in He was witling me down, exposing my sins and making me realize who I am without Him.

“Because you say, ‘I am rich, and have prospered and grown wealthy, and have need of nothing,’ and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked [without hope and in great need], I counsel you to buy from Me gold that has been heated red hot and refined by fire so that you may become truly rich; and white clothes [representing righteousness] to clothe yourself so that the shame of your nakedness will not be seen; and healing salve to put on your eyes so that you may see.” – Revelation 3:17-18 AMP

“Blessed [spiritually prosperous, happy, to be admired] are the poor in spirit [those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant], for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].” – Matthew 5:3 AMP

He used those children to expose the darkness within me. And through those two kids He revealed my heart.

“The heart is deceitful above all things And it is extremely sick;
Who can understand it fully and know its secret motives? ‘I, the Lord, search and examine the mind, I test the heart, To give to each man according to his ways,
According to the results of his deeds.”‘ – Jeremiah 17:9-10 AMP

I realized how prideful, selfish and how I didn’t want to take responsibility for anything in my life (and this is only an inkling of what He brought to the surface). At my worst, I was so broken, I locked myself in the bathroom and all I could do was cry and pray (it wasn’t pretty).

Sometimes, I don’t think people get when I say (or other believers say) it isn’t about religion it’s about a relationship. In those dark times, my biggest question was “why, am I going through this madness?” And what is so amazing is that even while I was angry and hurt – I have a God, a Father in heaven, who will listen and He can handle my ranting and raving. And in those times of anger and frustration – I realized I could trust Him through it all.  I equate it to growing pains – I was learning to trust Him and to let Him have the control. Because let’s be honest, when I took the reins of the situation it only got worse. Religion is man’s way to get to God but God’s (I love the statement “But God”) way to man was through Yeshua (Jesus)  I’m so blessed to be able to have a relationship with my Father.

 You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and I have appointed and placed and purposefully planted you, so that you would go and bear fruit and keep on bearing, and that your fruit will remain and be lasting, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name [as My representative] He may give to you. – John 15:16 AMP

Only in my brokenness did I see my absolute need for the Savior. As time has gone by, I see more and more what God did through Yeshua (Jesus). That God manifested Himself in human flesh so He would experience what we have to experience – love, loss, betrayal, and separation – to name a few.

For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.” – Hebrews 4:15 AMP

God loved me (and you) so much that He sent Yeshua (which means “salvation”) here to be the connector, the bridge, between us and God so we wouldn’t be separated any longer from our Abba (Father).

Jesus said to him, “ I am the [only] Way [to God] and the [real] Truth and the [real] Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. – John 14:6 AMP

So when things aren’t going well and you find yourself in the darkness and you feel alone. We are never alone. When other people fail us – God never will.

I don’t understand God’s ways (and I don’t want a god that I can completely understand) so in the moments of brokenness – I may not understand – but looking back now – I get it. I am His masterpiece but it is a process. A process of chiseling at the stone to reveal His work of art!

I am beginning to see myself through God’s eyes. By accepting His gift of salvation – I am a new creation – the old has passed away and the new has come. So my old self is gone, letting go of that old nature, and I’m walking in newness of life. On the journey of becoming the woman He created me to be – shining my light in this world of darkness.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. – 2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP